System Glitch: Nagato
by Cedarx
Summary: Kyon's first mistake was letting his guard down, blunting his vital sense of caution. His second mistake, was thinking that Yuki was infallible. Those were two mistakes too many. YukiKyon. On hiatus
1. Chapter 1

System: Glitch | Code: Nagato

**Hey, people! I was just reading some Haruhi fanfiction lately, and got the inspiration for creating my own. So without further ado... I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't have the world's most powerful female god under my control. Sad, isn't it?**

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It was a bright, crisp, beautiful winter day. Snow was drifting down in bright cloves all throughout the school grounds. Despite this, the sun was still shining overhead, oblivious to all routine weather patterns.

I looked outside the school windows as I passed them in the halls. Snowflakes were drizzling calmly, peacefully, covering everything with a fluffy, marshmallowy haze. School buildings' outlines were blurred, and the students unfortunate enough to be outside were merely speckled ants, pandering around. Their footprints transformed the landscape from a smooth, pillowing white to a battlefield of polka-dots. Looking away, I felt the sudden urge to smile, and shiver simultaneously.

_These winters would be much more bearable if our winter uniforms were actually warm..._

Sighing in resignation, I nevertheless plowed on to the SOS clubroom, intent on savoring some of Mikaru's warm, delicious tea before I froze to death. I paused at the door, then lifted my hand to knock, only to see the door swing open of its own accord.

"H-hi, Kyon!" exclaimed Asahina-san cheerfully, her chattering teeth dampening the effect slightly.

"Oh. Hello, Asahina-san." With eyebrow raised, I realized that Asahina-san was still wearing her maid outfit, a poor complement in this frosty weather.

"Say... Asahina-san... don't you think it would be warmer if you were wearing your winter uniform, instead of that costume?"

"That's a good idea, K-kyon... but I'm afraid Haruhi has ordered m-me to keep this on for the entire d-day."

I sighed in resignation. Haruhi wouldn't budge in her decision unless Asahina-san froze to death. And then she would probably use the poor girl as the club's official "Moe-statue", on display for all to marvel and gawk. Though admittedly, that wouldn't be half ba- slap yourself awake, Kyon. Mind out of the gutter.

"Very well, Asahina-san- just make sure to put something on if you get too cold, okay?"

"S-sure, Kyon!" Asahina-san beamed at me. Her smile was as lovely as always; I could feel the room getting ten times brighter, and twice as warm.

"You don't have to worry a-about me. This room's pretty well heated, and unless Haruhi feels the urge to-"

"MIKURUU!" Haruhi jumped into the room, almost knocking me over, with Koizumi in tow looking cheerfully ragged. Kind of like a bespectacled balloon , with a happy face painted on. If you get what I mean. No?

That's okay too.

I stole a glance towards the insatiable Haruhi, wondering what she would do next.

"Guess what? There's a whole bunch of students outside who really really REALLY like our movie, and want autographs of the cast and crew! You and Koizumi HAVE to go outside and sign like you've never signed before- it's a perfect opportunity to boost the reputation of the SOS Brigade even further!"

I swear, if Haruhi's smile got any bigger, it would smack me in the face.

"B-but... can I change out of my maid costume first? It's k-kind of cold out there," Asahina-san whimpered.

"Nonsense! The audience out there said specifically that they want to see the actors in costume. Oh, stop struggling. You won't freeze to death outside. Now come on!"

Something was a bit off here. Our movie didn't have _that_ many fans, did it? And why would they be asking for the actors in costume at this late hour? This didn't make any sense at all... unless...

I turned to Haruhi, cogs in my mind turning.

"Say, Haruhi. Does our 'fan club' happen to be composed of... I don't know... mainly guys?"

Haruhi blinked, but didn't relinquish the hold she had on poor Asahina-san.

"Yeah- it is. There isn't a single girl who wanted autographs. I thought that was strange. I guess girls just don't appreciate the SOS Brigade's brand of fine art."

I rolled my eyes at this. They didn't appreciate something, alright. And as for fine art... that was mildly debatable.

Hey!

By the time I had finished my internal monologue, Asahina-san and the ever-smiling yes-man had been inexorably dragged away by the tidal wave that was Haruhi Suzumiya.

Sigh.

I turned back around as Asahina-san's screams faded in the distance. Some days, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and forget about the my troubles for a few hours.

I hung up my blazer on one of the clothing hooks, then proceeded to dump my schoolbag unceremoniously on the floor, pulling out a chair with the same motion.

Then I slumped over on to the table, head resting on my folded arms.

…

Out of the crook of my elbow, I sneaked a peak at Nagato. There she was, silent throughout our entire drama, staring out the window.

_Hmm. That's strange. No book this time._

Odd, but not entirely life-threatening. With this thought, I slumped over and began to doze off.

"It's snowing," Nagato stated quietly.

"Yes, it is..." I mumbled, half-asleep.

Suddenly, my head jerked up.

_What?_

_Did Nagato just initiate conversation? Is there yet _another_ problem with the universe at large?_

I turned toward Nagato, to find her staring at me, with, for all intents and purposes, a blank look. Her expressions remained the same throughout the day for all but the most observant people. Luckily, I probably had the most experience in the school with this kind of thing. Looking closer, I realized that her right eyebrow was raised a few millimeters, giving her a quizzical look.

Quizzical for Nagato, anyway.

"I'm sorry, Nagato..." I sweatdropped at this point, growing uncomfortable at being the recipient of such an intense gaze.

"I've just... never heard you actually start a conversation before. That's all."

She nodded once, a fraction of an inch down, then a fraction of an inch back up.

"Acceptable."

Then, gracefully, she turned her head back to her original position, and resumed looking out the window, at the snowflakes now drifting by. Lazily. Weightlessly.

Nagato put her nose to the glass, and stared.

* * *

The second day started out normally as well; after trudging from my classes, I arrived at the club room, rubbing my arms, and shivering uncontrollably. It was even colder than the day before, if that was possible. Once again, I bemoaned the thin, looks-over-practicality material of my winter uniform, and opened the door. Not the first time, I began debating with myself whether to call in sick and just leave, right now, and retreat the safety and warmth of my house. However, with the twin horrors of trudging through the snow storm raging outside, and the wrath of Haruhi over my head, I didn't dare. At least I could sit in the club room and wait until the storm let down a bit. With the handwritten SOS Brigade sign waving dimly over my head, I proceeded into the room.

Once again, I was met by a familiar sight. Misuku was brewing up some of her trademarked tea, and sniffling all the while- most likely the result of another dish of emotional trauma cooked up by Haruhi-, Haruhi herself was typing something on the club computer with an intense, slightly cute expression on her face, and Koizumi was playing chess with himself, two mirrored, smiling opponents, who were content with trading seats, as well as wins and losses.

Nagato, as usual, was sitting on the chair closest to the window, but, once again, she wasn't in possession of one of her trademarked ridiculously-long hardcover books. Instead, like yesterday, she was merely staring out the window, a common pastime of an average high school girl.

But Nagato was a far cry from being stereotypical. And average. She didn't turn her head when I walked in, but I somehow felt that her comment was directed towards me,

"There are many snowflakes today."

"Eh... yes. There are," I replied, confused.

Everyone else seemed too preoccupied to pay Nagato much attention, though, so I was the only one looking perplexed. She still hadn't moved her head. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that I hallucinated the entire sentence she spoke.

Eventually, I sat down at the chair, and set my bag down on the ground. Our (stolen) heater was operating at full throttle, but it was a small device, and there was a blizzard outside. The warmth from the heater could barely be felt 6 inches from the pathetically small vents. Conveniently, that was just where Haruhi was located. Right in front of the heater.

Speaking of which, she spoke up right on cue.

"Okay, everyone. Mikuru seems to have caught..." Haruhi glanced over at Asahina-san at this point, narrowing her eyes slightly, "a slight case of the cold..."

So that's what her sniffling was about. Haruhi's attentions had finally brought some sort of punishment for the tortured Asahina-san.

"Due to this unfortunate (you only think so because it inconveniences you...) and completely unforeseeable (lies! All lies!) event, our scheduled... secret club surprise will be delayed until tomorrow. Haruhi looked crestfallen at this thought.

"I spent so much time on it too..."

I thought I heard Haruhi mumble. But it was none of my concern, so I just nodded an affirmative.

"That sounds wonderful, Ms. Suzumiya," Koizumi replied cheerfully, "I'll be waiting at the edge of my seat to see what you've prepared."

I glared at Koizumi, but he just smiled back.

Sigh.

I looked back at Nagato, still, and unmoving throughout our entire dialog, trying to figure her out. Her layered hair waved slightly in the draw from our heater.

In any case, Nagato's slight change of behavior, however atypical, could be analyzed later. Right now, I had to save Koizumi from the impending boredom of winning/losing against his smiling opponent: himself.

I plopped myself into a chair, and started setting up the pieces. Koizumi smiled at me, and began helping. There was no conversation. It was just too cold.

* * *

Ah... Friday. The end of the week had come at last. All of my classes seemed to rush by in a blur. Not even Haruhi disrupted my contentment, because all throughout our classes, she was scribbling madly on her notebook. The only time she even lifted her head was when I attempted to peer at her work- that got me a solid thrashing for "interrupting her creative flow".

And so, with a newly-formed bump on my head, I managed to keep my good mood at least partially aloft, and stumbled to the club room. There, I was hit, _yet again_, by the outward-moving door as Haruhi slammed through.

"Alright. Mikuru and Koizumi- listen up. Our audience absolutely loved the SOS Brigade's Official Autograph Signing Event, so we're moving on!"

Poor Asahina-san. She was, once again, in her maid outfit, and shivering so much that my eyes blurred trying to follow her. Despite this, when she saw me, she still gave me a smile that could brighten a Christmas tree.

She was probably the sweetest girl alive.

"Me, Mikuru, and Koizumi need to rehearse for our next big appearance- we're going to give all paying customers a bonus, live-action play!" Haruhi was giddy with excitement.

If there was anyone willing to actually pay to see this performance, I'd like to see who they are before knocking their brains back to working order.

"B-but, it's c-col-"

"SOS actors would never let the cold interfere with their all-important mission! So don't even think about backing out of this!"

"And you, Kyon. As the lowest-ranking member of our club, you will not get to participate in our grand premier- (whew) but you will still receive the honor of cleaning out the clubroom (… seriously, Haruhi?) before we get back. Now make it quick!"

With orders given, Haruhi nodded to Koizumi, and grabbed the hesitant Asahina-san.

Asahina-san whined helplessly as she was lifted up, like a potato sack, and carried to god-knows-where, with Koizumi in tow. Where does Haruhi get all of her energy? I'd like to buy some, please. Just name your price.

I entered the clubroom, once again, to meet Nagato, silent as a ghost, on her favorite window-seat chair. This time, I was sure that she would remain quiet, and it seemed my prediction was coming true for the first few minutes.

Then, Nagato turned her head, looking at me with her brilliant caramel eyes.

"There are many snowflakes, but the sun is still out."

Following this cryptic message, Nagato nodded towards the window, and I saw, indeed, that the sun was still shining ever so slightly in the raging snowstorm.

I nodded, still completely bewildered.

"I suppose it is..." I hesitated at this point. "But why are you telling me this?"

She stared at me. It wasn't a calculating stare, nor one that held any menace. She just looked like she was staring at me for the sake of staring- kind of like the window.

I stared back.

She broke eye contact, and turned back towards the window. There was an expression in her eyes, right before she turned away. I couldn't make out what it was though. Her mysterious (or, more mysterious than usual) persona aroused my curiosity. But there was no point in trying to get any more out of Nagato, if she considered the conversation finished.

After staring at the back of her head for another few seconds, I gave up and took Haruhi's heater, dragging it to my table. I glanced over at Nagato, wondering if I should offer this up to her, but thought better of it as soon as I looked up. She probably wasn't even feeling any discomfort from the cold. Might as well save the breath, and not interrupt her daydreams. With that thought, I put my head on the table. I vaguely remembered some kind of order from Haruhi about cleaning this dump up, but I was too tired to care. Besides, Nagato's perfect, synchronized breathing was like a lullaby, luring me to sleep.

I closed my eyes.

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5:34 pm JST | MkyWy Sector (306,209) | Planet Delta

Deep within the multiplex data streams and encryption networks of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity, a movement was felt, and dimensions parted as Organization X assembled itself. Zettabytes (One zettabyte equals approximately 100 million terabytes, or 2^70 bytes) of information passed between its various entities, as they computed various scenarios faster than the speed of thought. Finally, a decision reached, the organization split and parted ways, pausing only to send a short command line to a particular Humanoid Interface.

5:35 pm JST | MkyWy Sector (124, 650) | Planet Delta

[...]

[message= code command line]

[sender= IDSE]

[priority= double red]

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**Hope you enjoyed that- I'll upload the next chapter as soon as the muse hits. Until then, thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey.**

**Kindasortamaybe depressing note later on... but for now, I hope you enjoy. If you don't, then make sure not to tell me.**

**Just kidding. Happy reading.**

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Previously...

5:34 pm JST | MkyWy Sector (306,209) | Planet Delta

Deep within the multiplex data streams and encryption networks of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity, a movement was felt, and dimensions parted as Organization X assembled itself. Zettabytes (One zettabyte equals approximately 100 million terabytes, or 2^70 bytes) of information passed between its various entities, as they computed various scenarios faster than the speed of thought. Finally, a decision reached, the organization split and parted ways, pausing only to send a short command line to a particular Humanoid Interface.

5:35 pm JST | MkyWy Sector (124, 650) | Planet Delta

[...]

[message= code command line]

[sender= IDSE]

[priority= double red]

**Advanced Interface Mode deactivated. **

**All processing power diverted to decrypting and processing message. **

**Life support rerouted to backup power. **

**Initating Basic Interface Mode.**

…

[Basic Interface Mode command line requesting processor space for preliminary status report. priority= yellow. Y/N?]

[Y]

[Accepted]

[Basic Interface Mode message:

life support= check

environmental changes= energy diverted from muscle function.

physical body shifted approximately 102 degrees northeast.

earth gravity sped up impact to ground level at constant 9.80665 m/s2 earth units

no injuries reported

miscellaneous notes= Subject /[`/0|\|-1 moved a distance of 2.366 earth meters to near-physical body proximity. Sound level emanating from Subject /[`/0|\| at 75 earth decibel level. Divert processing power and decode human language. Y/N?]

[N]

[Accepted]

[Perform misc. action. Y/N?]

[...]

[Y]

[send preset Basic Interface Mode message 45 to subject /[`/0|\|-1

communication method: verbal]

[additional Registry Code: shutoff Interface communicator]

[Accepted]

**Processing IDSE command code...**

_Thump_

My head came up with a start. I checked the time, groggily rubbing at my eyes.

_5:37 pm_

Wow. Two minutes had passed by? I can't seem to catch a break- I can't even doze off without something interrupting. I mean, it was an oddly peaceful scene- perfect for sleeping, with Nagato on the floor, a blank look in her eyes, my jacket there on the hook, the snow falling in droves, and the ticking of the-

Wait.

Nagato!

With a rush of andrenaline, Kyon pushed back his chair and hurried to Nagato's whipped off his jacket at once and laid it carefully over the petite, prone figure on the floor. Kyon took Nagato's diminuitive wrist in his hands and measured her pulse.

_Her body temperature's definitely colder than it should be. But there's a pulse, at least, no matter how weak._

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kyon then proceeded to use the most advanced medical technique he could think of- tilting her head up by slipping his arm under her neck, wrapping his other arm around her shoulder, and shaking her until she woke up.

True, it wasn't as well thought-out as it could have been, but Earth medical techniques would have hardly worked on the data-manipulator in the first place, so I consider my strategy at least halfway decent. My one hope was that Taniguchi wouldn't pop in through the door again. I would never be able to explain my questionable position with Nagato _twice._

"Nagato! Nagato! Wake up!"

Her eyes were dull and lifeless, all traces of sparkle extinguished. I started to panic.

"Come on, Nagato, please. If this is some kind of joke, then consider it a rousing success! Just wake up- please!"

To tell you the truth, I didn't hold much hope for this scenario. The chances of Nagato pulling a prank on me were just about as high as the chances of Haruhi confessing her love to that computer club president.

Just then, Nagato's head snapped back to look at me, her eyes lifeless and calculating, resembling more of an alien than ever before. I almost had the feeling that her eyes were zooming in and out on me, identifying me like a microscope to a colony of zooplankton. Then she began to speak. Or at least, she seemed to speak. I wouldn't know, as her mouth didn't move at all during her monologue... It was disconcerting, to say the least.

"Humanoid Interface Program number 79, code name Nagato Yuki is currently operating under backup power per request of the IDSE. Initializing preset message number 45-" droned Nagato. She kept speaking, but a new sound began overpowering this... audio recording.

It was at this particular moment that Haruhi chose to crash in through the door.

"Kyon! Hand me Mikuru's bunny suit! I've just got a..."

She suddenly noticed my awkward position on the floor. Haruhi's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Kyon, what's going on-"

I tried to somehow "turn off" Nagato, honest. But it's not like there was a power button anywhere, or a volume rocker. So I resorted to covering her mouth. Too bad she wasn't using her mouth to emanate noise.

"... this message, then you must reboot my OS immediately. The OS reset disk can be found inside my apartment complex. It will take the form of a gray teacup. You must place this backup disk within two feet of my physical body, and..."

I was about to speak, to reassure Haruhi that Nagato had just had a stroke, a seizure, gone insane, _anything_ to assuage her suspicions. As if she had read my mind, Haruhi waved my hapless efforts to speak off with a movement of her hand. She kneeled down next to Nagato, to listen to her emotionless transmission with intense, furrowed-brow concentration.

I gulped; this was bad. I had absolutely no idea what kind of information Nagato had put in this "voicemail message". The message could very well reveal some things to Haruhi that would better be kept _unrevealed_. The fact that Yuki was the most trusted character in the club didn't help matters either.

Looking again, I noticed that Haruhi had gone totally silent while listening to Nagato, her face blank.

Haruhi.

Silent.

Emotionless.

I am so screwed.

There was nothing else to do, so I perked my ears, and caught the last bits of Nagato's message.

"... and intercept the Integrated Data Entity transmission frequency, code 75-Alpha. And above all..."

Here the voice actually seemed to hesistate,

"good luck, Kyon."

Snow swirled outside like glittering piles of soft sugar. The school grounds were covered with a blanket of pure white powder. A snowflake dabbed cheerfully against the window pane.

Heh?

Was there _any_ way to be more cryptic?

There was no way of defeating Haruhi's voracious curiosity once it had been awakened- all that could be done now is to think of a way to justify this- any way to justify this. While my brain was spinning with this conundrum, two more heads popped in- literally. Mikuru, in normal schoolgirl uniform (for once), and Koizumi haphazardly stumbled together into the room, as if shoved.

"Kyon...? What's going on?"

Mikuru's attention turned to me, her large, innocent eyes questioning.

I was not in the mood for her sweet vulnerability (for the first time in my life), however.

Koizumi's attention was also diverted from the doorway to the floor, where Nagato, her message finished, was once again lying on the floor, eyes open and glassy yet again.

I chose not to answer Mikuru's question, as Haruhi turned from the prostate body, to face us, her face hooded.

A dark aura entered the room, and it wasn't the visible kind.

Face still hooded, so we couldn't see her expression, Haruhi lifted her arm, and extended one finger towards Mikuru. The girl shuffled back in fright, mewing helplessly.

"Time traveler." Haruhi deadpanned.

Sweat began to accumulate above my brow.

Her arms swiveled to Koizumi.

"Esper."

The inexorable arm continued its steady march, onward to Nagato's prone body.

"Alien..." she was whispering by now. A pained, hoarse whisper.

At this, her arm collapsed. But she wasn't finished. Without even lifting her head, without any motions whatsoever, I knew she was referring to me. My vision blurred- I felt dizzy and fearful at the same time. It couldn't, wouldn't, _shouldn't_ be like this. The universe, however, had one last card to play. Haruhi choked out one last phrase, barely audible, but hauntingly clear nevertheless.

"John... John Smith..."

My muscles tensed. I felt ready to jump at anything and everything, but what could I do against a god? How do you pacify one who controls _everything_? And what did Nagato tell her- I didn't believe that Yuki would actually intentionally, or even accidentally let slip anything that would cause Haruhi to lose control. What was going on here?

Haruhi lifted her head, and the whole room saw her expression clearly. There was rage, I saw and expected, rage of the white-hot variety. But these was something else. There were _tears_. Haruhi was crying, streams of silver carving down her face. I think it was the first time any of us had actually seen the girl cry. Her eyes spoke volumes, and made up for all the words she didn't, or couldn't say. There was pain, sadness, frustration, bitterness, betrayal, and, what shocked me to the core, _loneliness._ A pitch-black, infinitely-deep pool of loneliness. She trusted her friends. Her friends hadn't trusted her. Her high school life, was essentially, one big lie.

She shook her head slowly, unspoken message clear and ringing.

_You lied to me. You all lied to me. How could you? You knew- all of you knew!_

Then, without another word, Haruhi Suzumiya turned, and ran out of the room.

Silence.

You know the phrase "the calm before the storm"? The moment where, nobody moves, nobody breathes, and everyone anticipates something horrible, with a sinking feeling of dread? I felt that- I think we all did.

…

Darkness clouded my vision.

I felt myself slipping into the void.

Gasping, I tried one last time to reach for Haruhi...

"Haruhi- NO!"

I jerked out of bed, reaching for... for... my ceiling. And then I fell. Hard.

_Thump._

"... Wha-...?"

I blinked, and looked around me, disoriented. It was my room. There was no crying (shiver) Haruhi, no smiling Koizumi, no panicked Mikuru, and no lifeless Nagato.

Whew...

I hadn't had a nightmare this bad since... since...

My attention was suddenly diverted to the clock on my desk. _10:56 am_ it showed, cheerfully. Flipping open my cellphone, I also realized that today was Friday. A school day.

"DAMMIT".

Something was nudging at me in the back of my mind, something that felt very important. I, however, had no time for such thoughts. I had to get to school before my teachers skinned me alive- I've never been late to school before!

I cursed my bad luck, got dressed, took my bag, and hopped on to my bike, hoping against hope that we weren't having a pop quiz, or anything along those lines. Our teacher may be lenient in lectures, but he's absolutely killer on tests, quizzes, and the like. I heard, actually, that once, during finals, there was this kid who disobeyed-

No! Now's not the time. Focus on turning that brainpower into fuel for your legs. Keep an even rhythm.

_Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal..._

_Why is it so _hot_ outside...?_

Kyon panted as he raced up the steps into the school building.

_Almost... there..._

Finally, he burst in through the door, and raced to his seat. In record time, Kyon set up his papers, pencils, and assorted school paraphernalia on his desk, and opened his mouth to recite his excuse.

"I'm sorry, Mr.-" he began; but no one was listening.

Around him, the chatter of conversation ebbed and flowed after a brief interruption, when all of his classmates looked at Kyon curiously. With a sweatdrop, and sigh, Kyon read the words: "Study session" on the board, and realized that his teacher was no where to be found.

Of course, the one day Kyon was in a panicked hurry to get to school would be the one day when the class had a free study period.

Sweat dripped freely down his brow, free falling down, soaking his rumpled school uniform.

Sigh.

Kyon put his head to his desk with a loud thump.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Get a coffee or something. You'll need all of your energy for today's SOS Brigade session!"

It was Haruhi, poking me from behind. I mumbled a little, and waved her hand off. She frowned, and poked me harder.

"Don't disrespect your Brigade leader, or I'll punish you with laps around the school in-... Hey. What's wrong with you today, anyway?"

Dazed, I mumbled a few admittedly ill-chosen words.

"Some stuff... a nightmare... can't remember it... about you..."

Silence.

When I left class that day, in addition to my persistent headache and sleep deprivation, there was a decidedly large lump growing out of the left portion of my scalp. Great. Now I was fatigued, frustrated, _and_ in pain.

I climbed a floor, then opened the door into the familiar atmosphere of the SOS Brigade. Koizumi was standing at the teapot, in Mikuru's place. Strange. It seemed like Mikuru was absent today. But how a time traveler could actually be "late" was beyond my comprehension.

Oh well. A thought for another day.

As usual, Nagato was sitting in a chair by the window, reading a thickly-bound book. Glancing at the cover out of a flash of interest, I realized it was in Latin. At that point, I utilized my pathetic vocabulary from a year in Latin studies to figure that it was titled Red Blade.

Odd. I actually remember reading that book, in homeroom. I can't recall exactly, but I think it had something to do with a dictator, who plants a sleeper agent* in a rebel group's ranks. Someone must have translated it into Latin, for some reason. It was odd because-

I paused. Something had nudged me again. Brushed against my consciousness. This was a "Eureka" moment coming, I could feel it. With a sudden revelation, I glanced at Yuki again, to find her staring back at me. Her eyes were... I don't know how to describe it. I think the best comparison would be to a newly-purchased whiteboard.

...

"Yuki, I-"

"KYOOON!"

I winced, covered my ears, and the train of thought, as well as my supposed "Eureka" moment, faded away into the headache Haruhi's announcement had produced. I turned back to the obnoxiously loud Haruhi, who had just marched in through the doorway. Koizumi smiled (as always), and informed her that Mikuru had come down with the flu, and couldn't come to the club meeting today.

As if.

I was much too tired to try to pry Koizumi for details, however, and let his amazing (read: witheringly frustrating) sense of secrecy prevail- once again.

"Oh, alright." Haruhi scowled slightly, but continued explaining our activities for the day. What were they? I can't tell you. I was preoccupied with the many strange events that had happened to me today.

_First, I got up late... I must have slept through at least a dozen alarms. That in itself is pretty odd. And then, this nudging feeling that I've been having... that definitely doesn't count as normal. Then again, when is my life _ever_ normal?_

I sighed aloud at this point, drawing a glare from our esteemed leader.

"Kyon. Are you listening? If you can't repeat, word-by-word, my instructions by the end of the club session, you'll have to pay for our next ten meals!"

Even if I had been listening, I still could never recite your deranged instructions!

"Ah-hah. So you admit that you weren't listening. That's it. 20 meals it is. I hope you have deep pockets, Kyon~"

I sighed once again, and bowed my head in surrender. Fighting with Haruhi was just about as tiring as... well... fighting with Haruhi. There's just no comparison in the world.

Then, with a clap, and a nod, our club activity instructions had been given.

"Now go, all of you. Kyon, I'll expect the recital of my instructions by the time we get back."

But you've already charged me with 20 meals! How does that make sense?

Haruhi blinked.

"Oh... I have, haven't I? Oh well. Ten additional meals then, if you can't comply. At the new, fancy cafe down the road. We'll have a year's supply of food, before long, if you keep slacking off like this, Kyon!"

Koizumi just smiled apologetically at me. If that was supposed to help, it didn't.

I groaned. There was no way around her. Haruhi was an inexorable tsunami, destroying everything in her path. That included me, the thinly built hut standing in her way. Before long, I'll be nothing but a pile of sticks and stones.

Haruhi pouted, but left the room, followed by her ever-cheerful servant, Koizumi. Nagato and I made no move to follow.

"Nagato? Coming?"

"Haruhi did not request my presence," she deadpanned, "It was clearly outlined in her directions. Sentence 17."

I knew that.

Glancing at the door, I winced and realized that I probably _should have_ followed Haruhi a while ago. Oh well. As long as I was paying for the group's next few dozen meals, 10 more wouldn't hurt. I took this opportunity to confide in Nagato about my troubles. The whole nine yards. I told her about my dream, the conscious brushings, and her odd, blank expression. Blanker than usual, that is.

The sun shone outside with all the intensity of a white-hot star 149,600,000 kilometers away.

Nagato took this all in without blinking. Seriously. She didn't blink. It was kind of creepy, to tell you the truth. I'm used to her at least making an effort to blink every 6.53 seconds or so, to give the semblance of human behavior. Not that I've been watching. Or counting.

"Not to worry. This is merely a system malfunction, what you would call "stress". Paranoid symptoms should disappear within one week."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Nagato. I can always count on you."

She gave a terse nod.

I was about to say something else, but she interrupted me first.

"I need to use the restroom facility. I will be right back." With a surprisingly jerky movement, Nagato stood up, placed her book flat on her chair, pages up, and walked out the door. Odd. She's usually much more graceful than that. She must have had to go badly.

I perused the clubroom after that, checking out the equipment and books, dreading to face Haruhi's hellish wrath after my absence was realized.

Then it hit me, like one of Haruhi's sucker punches.

_I've never seen Nagato use the restroom before! She's made out of data- she doesn't _need_ to use the restroom. What's up with that?_

I briefly considered following Nagato, but discarded that idea at once. Following a so-called "A-" girl into the girl's restroom was a suicidal move on my part. I reevaluated my options, and sat down in Nagato's chair, thinking.

_She must have wanted to me to do _something_... She was trying to tell me something, I know it!_

But we were the only ones in the room. Who did she have to hide from? _What _did she have to hide from?

Nagato's chair seemed oddly uncomfortable.

Oh. Stupid. I was sitting on her book.

I absentmindedly picked it up, and glanced at a few words while pushing my figurative "thinking cap" over my head.

_Now what could she possibly need? What could she possibly want? It's possible that she just doesn't know human etiquette, and actually expects me to follow her into the bathroom, but that's not likely. She's learned a lot since the beginning of the year about social standards. And why talk in code, then? Am I paranoid? Then again, Yuki never does anything without purpose... Gah... _

_Think, Kyon..._

_Think..._

_

* * *

  
_

*_Sleeper agent: A spy __who is placed in a target country or organization, not to undertake an immediate __mission, but rather to act as a potential asset if activated at a later point in time. Memory wipes are commonly used, with an external stimuli used to "wake" the agent up to fulfill his/her mission._

**Yeah... anyway, if you've noticed any typos, grammar mistakes, plot holes, or anything of that nature, I know. I've noticed myself that this chapter's been slightly... off...**

**It wasn't Beta'd, and I've... kind of lost my train of thought for this story, so to speak. I've only posted the rough draft for chapter 2 because I didn't think letting it collect dust was going to really help much. So, this story is pretty much abandoned/on hiatus/up for adoption. **

**I might continue it in the future, but for now, I have the beginning and ending sketched out... but not much else. I'm truely sorry for making you all wait so long for this, just to proclaim this, but my muse for this story has deserted me entirely.**

**I would also not be averse to someone adopting this story. I've purposely made it so this chapter is as flexible as possible. There are any number of branches it can go. Contact me if you're interested. Otherwise, thanks for reading, and sorry again.**

**On the not-so-terrible side of life, I've started a new story, to replace this one. Not sure when I'll get it finished, but it's heavily AU. Hope it works out.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**-Cedarx**


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